Brits are officially becoming ruder — but here’s what’s really going on
Good manners are a quintessentially British trait.
From the polite refusal of almost everything to saying ‘sorry’ even when you’re not in the wrong, our culture is known for courtesy and etiquette — to the point queuing is basically a national pastime.
But over the past decade or two, there’s a growing sense that the country is no longer as polite as it once was.
While every generation has its own ‘kids these days’ gripes, and moaning about the state of society is nothing new, figures back up the argument we’re in the midst of a respect recession.
In a 2022 World Values Survey, Gen Z were less likely to think good manners are essential. 75% felt this way, compared with at least 85% among older cohorts.
Less than half of UK-based respondents said they consider it crucial for children to have a feeling of responsibility, making us the only Western country in the study where less than half the population hold this view.
Similarly, 84% of millennials said in a 2019 poll by insurance firm Privilege that they think classic British politeness is old-fashioned.
More than a quarter (28%) admitted they cut in lines, while 53% don’t say ‘bless you’ when someone sneezes, and a shocking 42% aren’t willing to give up their seat on public transport for pregnant women or the elderly.
And it’s not just a generational thing either. The report revealed one in five adults of all ages no longer hold doors for people, with 13% not even saying please or thank you.
What do people think?
On a recent Reddit thread focusing on politeness in public, the topic of modern-day manners sparked quite a reaction.
‘I have noticed people becoming less patient and more angry, myself included,’ wrote @Chunky_Monkey4491, while @_ShredBundy added: ‘It’s like nobody expects to ever have interactions.’
‘No one has patience or care anymore,’ noted @Pale_slide_3463, an opinion echoed by several others, including @Bubble-Master96, who recalled letting five cars pass them on the street, and ‘not a single person gave the thank you wave’ — something they say is ‘becoming even more common’.
‘I was sat in a busy cafe the other day, and I had a few people ask if they could take a spare chair from my table,’ added @zwifter11. ‘No one had the decency to say please or thanks.’
And alongside many in the thread who criticised the behaviour of others, some also acknowledged the trend in themselves.
‘I’d be happy to talk to a stranger if they spoke to me, but my initial reaction would definitely be a bit flustered, like I have to actually climb out of my thoughts to get into conversation mode,’ says @BrummbarKT.
Why are British manners in decline?
Although surveys — not to mention the court of public opinion — suggest traditional displays of politeness may be less common than they once were, experts argue that kindness itself hasn’t vanished; it’s just competing with busier, faster and more distracted lives.
‘Time urgency is one of the psychological factors affecting manners,’ Claire Law, psychotherapist, tells Metro.
‘In today’s world, many people are constantly preoccupied with the feeling that there is an extra task to be done. When the brain perceives time scarcity, efficiency becomes more valuable than socialising.
‘Social modelling also helps people to maintain good manners. However, I’ve seen that people are socialised less frequently since many activities have become digital, automated, and involve strangers whom they will never meet again.’
According to UCL sociology professor, Dr Benjamin Abrams, civility is ‘dependent on a set of social arrangements that are fast vanishing in the UK today.’
’Today, factors like short-term renting, frequent house moves, the anonymity of modern city living, and the increasing digitalisation of our interactions mean those close-knit community ties are often weaker,’ he explains to Metro.
‘Because we now interact far more frequently with strangers we may never see again, the traditional social pressure to maintain strict formal manners has largely disappeared.’
‘The increasingly anonymous, transient, and fast-paced nature of modern life has diluted those old social pressures.
‘Without these supporting arrangements, is it any wonder that our quintessential national politeness sometimes gives way when we are rushed off our feet or exhausted?’
It’s an opinion shared by psychotherapist, and clinical director at Quadrant Health Group, Riky Hanaumi, who tells Metro: ‘I don’t believe people have suddenly become less kind.
‘What I see is that many of the small social rituals that communicate respect have been displaced by faster, more distracted ways of living.
‘One pattern I’ve consistently noticed is when people are chronically stressed, anxious, or emotionally exhausted, courtesy is often one of the first social behaviours to disappear — not because they no longer value it, but because they have less mental capacity to think beyond themselves in the moment.’
What do you think about 'British manners' in today's society?
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They have diminished significantly.
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They remain strong as ever.
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They have changed, but not necessarily for the worse.
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I haven't noticed a difference.
Riky argues this can be seen in the increasing levels of disconnection seen across society.
Almost three quarters (72%) of Brits aged 16 to 25 say loneliness has had a negative effect on their mental health and wellbeing, far higher than the national average of 54% (which is still pretty high).
Additionally, according to a 2025 study, the average adult now spends an additional 99 minutes at home each day compared to at the turn of the century. Which could explain our decrease in social skills.
But it’s not all bad.
‘The encouraging news is that manners are highly contagious,’ says Riky. ‘One genuine “thank you,” one moment of eye contact, or one small act of consideration often prompts the next person to respond, creating a ripple effect that strengthens social connection.’
So perhaps the question isn’t whether British manners are dead, but whether we’re willing to keep them alive — even if it does feel harder than ever.
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk
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