Ruth Langsford tearfully accepts she’ll ‘never know why’ sister died by suicide 7 years ago
Ruth Langsford broke down during a conversation reflecting on her sister Julia Johnson’s suicide seven years ago.
In a heartbreaking episode of Fearne Cotton’s podcast, the choked-up Loose Women host admitted she will ‘never know why’ her sister took her own life at the age of 62.
Julia was found dead by her husband Paul, at their Surrey home in June 2019, having lived with depression for years.
Wiping tears away through the interview, Ruth spoke about how she still misses her sister ‘so much’ after years trying to make sense of it.
Speaking on the Happy Place podcast, she said: ‘Suicide is such a tragedy and the people left behind are just left not knowing why.
‘Your question is just: ‘Why? Why? Why? As time has gone on, I’ve accepted that I’ll never know why and nothing will bring her back.’
She added: ‘The only way I can make any sense of it and stop it hurting is to know she didn’t want to be here and nothing I could have done could have changed that really.
‘You think, if only. “I should have rung her more, I should have come down.” You just think you could have done something.
‘Why didn’t we see it? How could we not have seen it? Why didn’t she talk to us? Why, why, why?
‘But there are no answers because she’ll never be able to tell us why.’
Ruth has previously described 2019 as the ‘hardest year’ of her life following her sister Julia’s death and has thanked her then-husband Eamonn Holmes for his support through it, before the couple split in 2024 after 14 years of marriage.
Speaking to Ferne, the TV host went on to say that it was her work that became a ‘lifeline’ to help her cope with her grief.
She added: ‘I just miss her so much, but I know she would not want me to have a sad life. I did a lot of crying and took time off work.
‘Then I thought, “She doesn’t want this for you – you need to get back out there.” And work has always been my saviour.’
Need support?
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
Their HOPELINE247 is open every day of the year, 24 hours a day. You can call 0800 068 4141, text 88247 or email: pat@papyrus-uk.org.
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